It’s rare that immediate family members live in the same city or even the same state. That distance creates a challenging situation when a decision needs to be made on where and when to move a parent to a retirement living community.
These tips will help when communicating with long-distance family members while deciding what’s best for your parent.
Introduce the subject at a holiday or another family gathering
The holidays and family gatherings are great opportunities for family members to sit down together and talk about the subject. Everyone has a chance to ask questions, possibly tour a few communities and come to a conclusion together as to what’s best for a loved one. For those folks who don’t live in town, the visit and discussion are eye-opening experiences as to the potential needs of a loved one.
Take advantage of technology.
There are several different communication tools that can help connect you and your family. If you’re just beginning to discuss the subject, consider sending a quick text, phone call or email to let everyone know you’d like to connect. Find a time that works for everyone, and take advantage of video calling on apps like Skype or FaceTime. These apps are the next best thing to speaking in person, as the video helps facilitate more effective “face-to-face” communication as you address concerns and questions together. Because this can be an emotional and complicated decision, we recommend not using text messaging and emails to discuss the big concerns as emotion and context can be lost through words on a screen. Rather, save those methods of communication for coordinating schedules or working out minor details later on so nothing important gets lost in translation in the beginning.
If you’re a local family member that lives near your parent…
The reality is your other family members may not see what you see with your parent that is causing you to consider a senior living community. Consider noting examples of when you see them struggling, or taking pictures of things that concern you. For example, if your parent falls or hurts themselves, that is a clear cause for alarm. Other signals might include piles of dirty dishes or laundry, an overgrown lawn, lost belongings, etc. These are signs that your parent could use assistance—more than you’re able to provide—and can help you communicate this to your family. Share them and ask for thoughts and perspectives to begin a constructive conversation. You may also be responsible for doing tours yourself and reporting back to your family members about your experience. Unfortunately, much of the responsibility could fall on you, but try to welcome feedback from your family and encourage them to do their own research as well. You could also recruit a close family friend to help you manage the details at home. After all, you all want what’s best for your parent!
If you’re a family member that doesn’t live near your parent…
Even though it may be difficult to discuss if you’re not actually seeing your parent’s struggling firsthand, try to approach the conversation with an open mind, as you may not know what your local family members could be seeing and experiencing. Do some research on your own like visiting senior living community websites, calling the facilities and asking questions, or maybe planning a visit to go on a tour with your other family members. Even though you may not live close, there are still ways to be involved in making the right decision for your parent.
At 10 Wilmington Place, we treat our residents like family. Therefore, we want residents’ families to feel comfortable and prepared with the decision as well. To learn more about our senior living community, please call 937-253-1010.
